Spoiled and Stalls

I have recently discovered that I am a spoiled brat.
I'm not talking about getting all the Hot Wheels I wanted and getting every Land Before Time DVD that came out every month.

I'm talking about bathrooms.

During my past summer internship, I had the opportunity to use a very nice bathroom whenever I wanted (or needed). It had motion sensor toilets, faucets, and paper towel rolls. Quite literally the only thing I had to touch was myself.

Unfortunately I have grown used to those amenities, and I occasionally forget that those plebeians with whom I dwell don't have motion sensor bathroom facilities.... Lets just say I sometimes accidentally leave presents for the next user of the stall. I wait up to 15 seconds at the sink waving my hands around like Harry Potter waiting for water to come.

The point of course being that I'm sick of these fancy bathrooms. The faucets are the worst. They either run for half a second, just long enough so it gives you hope but cuts out after you move your hands from the sensor. Either that, or they last two and half minutes. So that after a while you begin to think...I think my hands are clean...but the sink isn't letting me go....it must know what I did in there.

And then theres the industrial sized blow dryers from hell. Which do....nothing....nothing at all. I know the bathroom executives are trying to reduce the risk of germs by not having people touch a paper towel roll, and so they created the most unused product to hit bathrooms since the Handicapped Stall. If I needed to get my hands dried, I'd feel more comfortable wiping them off on an elephant's taint than using the automated air dryer.

The Handicapped Stall, thats another item (bit off topic, but you'll deal with it). Everybody uses it. Everybody. But I'm just wondering how you would feel if you finished up in there, put the Wallstreet or People or Teen Life (whatever it is you read) under your arm, walk out, and find a guy paralyzed from the nipple down waiting out there, ready to kick your ass.

Anyway, I conclude today with this simple bit of advice: shit in the woods. Its easier.

Byah!
Rob