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Sadly, this is a cold monopolized capitalistic world on whose crotch Matt is happy to lick. And so I have to admit that this blog of the ages has succumbed to our corporate masters. Our page is now full of advertisements. And people, with your help, we can make some serious bank if you just start clicking on them. Divided three ways, we can each stand to make over 22 cents a month. Just think about what that is in yen!

What happens is that a computer sifts through our blogs, and comes up with sponsors that our best represented in the pieces.

Here are some of my favorites:

For Spoiled and Stalls, a very general rant on public bathrooms we have been sponsored by Toilet Partitions and More! Custom built and low cost. And as befitting such a noble enterprise, the website is www.TinkleProducts.com. hehehe

For A Rebuttal to Rob, a piece which showed to the world that Matt is certainly not a dirty rotten commie we have been endorsed by Buy Capitalism Apparel! Show your standing! And I'm sure all products were made by your fellow capitalists, the Burma Orphan Foundation!

...I have found a very bizarre ad. I'm just going to type it out:
WE NEED YOU TO WRITE. Write short articles & earn cash. Free, Fun, Fans! Try Helium now!
I'm confused. Apparently that's the buzz of choice for free and fun writers.

In the first of Matt's blogs, Life's too Short to Vote, he went on a rant about how voting was a giant waste of time and he won't do it. In fact he tries to discourage our readers against voting as well. This was his ad: Presidential Vote Race! We need your vote!!
They really should screen these things.

And finally, this last add was again advertised with Spoiling and Stalls, along with TinkleProducts.com (hehe). This one easily takes the cake because it was the only one I felt compelled to click. I had to know what this was all about. Before I begin my discussion on the ad, I'm just going to give you the website: www.CleanButt.com

I'm gonna go ahead and give you a moment to visit www.CleanButt.com and you can come back to me in a second.


Go ahead.







Alright then.
First off, holy mother of awesomeness I'm excited to become rich one day. For the people out there who have gone beyond Charmin Ultra...I bring you...the CleanButt BidetSpa.


Point number one, the last four digits of the phone number is BUTT. I don't know a lot about pre-planning phone numbers, but something tells me that the only other companies who used BUTT at the end (hahah, think about it) are selling something much less hygienic. (Joe's last four spell out MEAT. I think MEAT and BUTT should give each other a ring)

Point number two, I think when nature calls you have to relax, that's the whole point. You don't go all stressed....unless you recently had a burrito.

Point number three, yes I tried to look between the knees.

Number four, it comes with a WIRELESS REMOTE. Say that again Rob, I didn't hear you. A WIRELESS REMOTE! Oh good God Almighty what must be happening to people around the world?

"Timmy! Stop pushing that! Timmy! Stop rinsing daddy's ass!"
or
"Baby, my jaw is tired, why don't you sit down on the toilet for a while?"


Alright guys keep clickin those ads!


Byah!
Rob