Frednecks

As most of you know, I go to school in Fredericksburg, Virginia. Fredericksburg is an amazing town, it contains the heart of capitalism (Central Park, where you can find a Best Buy 5 feet away from Circuit City and every chain store known to humankind), Waffle House, and a quaint old downtown area. For those of you who don’t know, Fredericksburg is also where the North meets the South. We’re just not quite Southern: the accent isn’t prolific, people don’t have an overwhelming love for grits, and most people would probably be upset if the South “rose again.” However, we’re definitely not Northern: we’ve got great sweet tea and not a week goes by where I don’t see a pick-up truck with a Confederate flag in the back window. Clearly, Fredericksburg has everything a star-struck young college student could need.

But I digress… back to the main part of the story here. Fredericksburg does have one downside: Frednecks. Frednecks are the local rednecks; Fredericksburg townies with nothing better to do than drive along College Ave. at 5 in the afternoon yelling incoherently (probably drunkenly). Thankfully, my experience with Frednecks has been limited… up till now. A certain LTS blogger was attending a party (which happened to be in my apartment, so you’d think I’d know everyone) with some folks from my school and Christopher Newport in which CNU was shut out repeatedly in a “game of mass consumption.” In a futile attempt to earn back “all of the honor in the world” CNU staked their pride on final game- their pride, and the most horrific of college traditions, a naked lap. Needless to say, CNU was shut out again and forced to run a naked lap.

Here is where the story gets more interesting. One of the girls cheering CNU volunteered (volunteered!) to run the naked lap with them. Later, after much humiliation and good times, we learned the girl (“Red”) had not come with the CNU kids. In fact, no one at the party had any idea who she was. After being rejected by nearly every guy in attendance, “Red” disappeared as mysteriously as she came. At the end of the night, all we knew is that she lived in Fredericksburg.

And that is the story of how I met my first Fredneck.

-Matt