X-Games

So I was comfortably dining with my friends Joe and Mary (I need to meet new people), when a blast from the past strolled up next to us. His name was John.

Sidenote: Regular readers may recall I have a friend named Jon. Different people. One of them is Jewish.

John is a character all by himself. Let me try to introduce him.

He attended high school with myself and Joe. Now lets just say this: John is a smart guy. He is a Biochemistry major, he took AP Biology with me, and will probably end up richer than me. I will also say this though: in 10th grade he invited me to go smoke pot and play Mario Bros.. Yes, he is that kid. There have been previous posts that described that kid as the know-it-all teacher's pet. John is that kid: the one who gets high, doesn't study, sleeps in class.....and still does better than the previous that kid. Oh, and he says 'dude' a lot.

My best memories happened during AP Biology. Just as class starts, he decides he needs to go to the bathroom. He comes back an hour later...looking a little woozy....and wearing bright pink girl flip flops. He still doesn't quite remember what happened.

For his final biology project, he did research on hydroponics. This is a method of growing plants by suspending them in water instead of in soil. His visual was a stem of cannabis stuck into a pot filled with corn flakes.... When he got a bad grade, he just started saying over and over, "But I brought the pot! I brought the pot!"


OK, well this kid shows up during our meal. We check on how he's doing ("good, dude, good"). Then he asks us what we've been up to. I reply, joking, "Well, we tried acid." "Really?!" His face was lit up like the Fourth of July during Christmas. I can relate his ecstatic response to only one thing: the look on a gay guy's face when you tell him your friend is also gay.

Sidenote: Joe still hasn't quite forgiven me. And I'm still laughing.

We quickly disappoint him by saying we were kidding. He shrugs and says, "It's just that I did it this last weekend...." (Yippee! Storytime!)

Apparently he had gone to some music festival in southern Florida and lost a week of his life. There was a lot going on, but the only story he told us about was his experience with "Ecstasy".

Sidenote: A quick science lesson: Ecstasy (or X, E, or XTC) is actually Methylenedioxymethamphetamine, a drug that causes pronounced euphoria, inner peace, and urinary retention (Wikipedia, 2007).

Ecstasy is that drug that makes you love everything, but you might die. In general, I try to stay away from things that cause death. But that's me. John was fortunate enough to have an experienced user with him who knew to bring a camelpack of water (which stops the whole dying thing).

John was trying to relate the experience to us: they really loved the water. Like, they loved it. It felt so cool and smooth and it made them happy. It was like the best water ever. And they just wanted everyone to drink the water, everybody they loved, everybody, come drink the awesome water! It just tastes soooo gooooood.

The best part of the tale was this: somewhere during the event...John found that he had a ball of light in his hands ... like.... the Dragonball Z things. So he spent a couple hours holding this energy ball in his hands, hoping nobody made him angry, or he might accidentally go Kamaya Maya on their ass (his words, not mine).

I was unaware that Ecstasy gave you spheres of light in your hands. Can you imagine what middle school would have been like if we knew this? There wouldn't be a sober kid in the class! So, if I take this little pill....I can shoot balls of fire! Come on Timmy, we're gonna go fight aliens!

Anyway, long story short. I'm glad I never took John up on that offering of pot in 10th grade.


BYAH!

Rob