Full of Awk

So we are no longer advertised by Google. I don't know whether to feel abandoned or relieved. It's like an abusive stepfather abandoning the family. Sure he roughed you up every now and then... but still.... there were good times, like when he bought YouTube and you both stayed up all night watching TheWineKone.

Its going to be really awkward if we ever run into each other. But awkwardness can be fun, and that's what this blog is about. These are some of my most favoritest awkward moments of my life.

And yeah...most of them were in high school.

The Beginning
Me and Joe have been friends a long time. But we weren't always like that. We weren't always buds. Somewhere in high school I got it into my head that...hey...me and him....we're gonna befriend each other.

Now Joe is a lofty individual, which is strange cause he doesn't bring a whole lot to the table. It wasn't easy to become an acquaintance, never mind a friend.

Well, we were having a chat after school had let out. The chat ended, and he started walking home. And I thought to myself, this chat is far from over kiddo, and I went with him. In some small part of his brain, he was thinking "What the F?....." So we showed up at his house, and I introduced myself to his very confused mother. I had a glass of water, and then left to go home. Joe showed me out with a half puzzled/half angry look on his face. I said, "See ya later" and left. And the whole way home I'm thinking...oh yeah.....I'm in.

The Suitcase
It was a family reunion on my dad's side. And we all went to my Grandma's house. All of the adults were getting drunk and reminiscing in the backyard. All of the older cousins were playing cards. And all of the younger cousins were playing in the attic. I was about 15 at the time, and on the borderline of which group of cousins to hang out with.

I ultimately decided to be king of the little ones.

Somewhere along the line, as we were playing, one of the little ones, Frankie, climbed inside of a suitcase. And he started shouting for somebody to pull him around. Somehow I got the job.

As i was pulling him around the attic amongst peals of giggles, the little one decided to zipper himself up inside the suitcase. I have no idea how he did it.

At that moment, his dad (my uncle) came up the stairs. Eventually he followed the muffled sounds to the suitcase, and opened it. And when my uncle asked Frankie why he was in a suitcase, the little bastard pointed at me and said, "Rob put me in here!"

I can't wait for the next reunion.

The Elevator
Flash forward a while. Still in high school, and now me and Joe are best buddies. We even know each others last names now.

Sidenote: Readers, you will never know our last names cause we don't want you to find us and kill us in our sleep. No offense.

In our high school, there were two floors, and there was an elevator. This elevator was only supposed to be used by handicapped kids. But when there wasn't a teacher around, everybody used it.

Now me and Joe are gamboling about, as we do. School had just let out, and we were staying after for...some sort of club thing. Anyway, we decide to use the elevator. It was going down, and I say to Joe, "Hey, lets do ninja poses. It'll shock and amaze anyone standing outside the door." Well, that was my mistake. There was nobody standing there. We're fixed in most awesome ninja poses...the doors open.....and there's a girl in a wheelchair in front of us.

Our ninja poses slowly fall...there's a moment of silence, and then I say, "I am SO sorry."

To which she replied, "WHY DOES EVERYONE ALWAYS SAY THAT?!"

Oh boy. "Quick Joe! Run for the stairs!"



Well, that's all I can think of.

Before this ends, I just want to put a quandary out there for you readers. Do you think Martin Luther King had a dream diary?

Byah!

Rob