Support Our Sponsors II

Before blogging, I would just like to say that we are honored to be sponsored by the noble benefactors of gaywheels.com. I find their changes to the crude and heterosexual automobile very practical. I happen to like the.... unique.... position of the stickshift. I'm intrigued by the milky complexion of the wiper fluid. And i find the horn very entertaining: it is not a boring honk but instead gives the acoustic version of a different Clay Aiken song every time.

So on behalf of the writers here, I would just like to say that we would never discredit our sponsors. They are all fabulous!

Having said that, I think we should have a look at some of our more recent sponsors. As regular readers know, we are subscribed to an ad company through Google in some complex contract that I had nothing to do with. The ads are chosen based on our blogs. They pick up on some key words, and some ad is automatically associated with it.

Fact Number One: These companies have no idea who we are and did not choose to be associated with us.
Fact Number Two: We have no say which companies are advertised here
Fact Number Three: I have a huge penis

OK, so lets take a look at some more of our sponsors.

New 2007 Sinful Clothing: Largest Collection Online. Free S/H
Yes, this catalog has been updated every year.
It all started with the 30 AD Whore of Babylon Collection. "You're not going out dressed like that! Next thing you know you'll be following that Jesus fellow around."
And who could forget the 1634 Puritan Hussy Ensemble. "That's right, Goodwife, buckle me hard. That's right, show those ankles."
But now it's 2007. And you don't even want to know what the new sinful clothing is. But it does come with free S/M. Oh, I mean free S/H. Or do I?

Top 7 China Stock Tips
Rice, rice, rice, rice, rice, rice, and Jackie Chan movies.

Alliums for Sale: Fresh from Holland
I don't know what an Allium is. But apparently they're fresh from Holland. Maybe they mixed up and meant Austria. I would like an Allium from Austria. Is Holland close to Austria? I don't think so, but it's close enough that if I was playing Risk and wanted the whole European bonus, I would need both.

Traveller's Home Insurance: Understand Your Risks
This doesn't seem to out of the ordinary just by itself. But you have to realize the context. This was the sponsor for a blog titled "Questions." For those who haven't read it, it consists of some of the choiciest stories of my life that involve humorous, sometimes awkward, and oftentimes public instances of urination. Yes, they're peeing stories. My peeing stories are endorsed by Traveller's Home Insurance. Damn right I understand my risks.

Gypsy Halloween Costumes
The point of Halloween is to wander around to people who have homes, asking for food, perhaps doing a trick or to, and then being driven off. You don't need a costume. They are already gypsies.
This actually does remind me of something else though. I have mentioned before that I have a friend named "Stu." He has decided to study abroad the upcoming semester in Switzerland (I wonder why he picked that locale). But somehow he has discovered that local authorities look the other way if you want to beat up a gypsy after they try to rob you. So he is very excited to put an empty wallet in his pocket in the hopes of catching a Romanian, and then beating the hell out of him/her (he doesn't care). Too bad he didn't know a bunch of people in gypsy costumes were gonna be out and about on Halloween. He could have practiced.

Anyway, I think that's about it. But you should definitely click on some of those sponsors. Very good stuff.

That was a lie.

It's rubbish.

But it'll make me rich.

Do it!

Byah!

-Rob